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| How to Lose a Job in 10 Minutes |
by Mark W. Avera - April 7, 2008
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Want to remain unemployed? Check out these 15 16 tips for throwing away that prospective job!
(1) While discussing your ‘green’ building experience, mention that your efforts often increase the cost of projects
(2) Show up late, and if questioned about your tardiness, hastily explain that you waited until the last minute to get directions to the interview
(3) Leave an e-mail with directions to a new job interview open on your computer at your current job
(4) When asked what interests you about the company, reply, “I don’t know, I hadn’t heard about you guys until I sent in my resume”
(5) Wear a golf shirt and/or sneakers to the interview
(6) When offered a position, immediately demand more money…it’s called ‘negotiating’
(7) When speaking about your qualifications, be sure to include a degree or award you don’t have. Who actually bothers to check up on those things?
(8) When asked how you are qualified for the position, say, “I’m not sure I am, but I’m a quick learner and can learn to do it”…it’s called ‘modesty’
(9) After an interview, do absolutely nothing and wait for a call. Who actually has time to write a ‘thank you note’ anyways?
(10) Touch up your makeup during the interview to make sure you stay looking sharp
(11) Don’t shave before the interview; everyone likes the scruffy look
(12) Explain that you are qualified for the job because you have siblings/friends/parents who have important positions at bigger companies in the same field
(13) Open the interview by asking about the starting salary and vacation days
(14) Before you leave the interview, be sure to say you want a window office
(15) Name drop the same name at least five times
Reader additions:
(16) Complain about your last employer
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| Steven Mastari (Sugarland Texas) |
on 25 Sep 2008 at 5:38 pm |
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stop eating gum. no smoking. no strong perfum or bla bla.
clean hair cut. look Sharp. when u interview just look they eyes . tell your heart ( Stop just give me the job ) dammit.
shave clean cut. no long nails ( HOLLY SMOKEY ) that nails is long wt ? . please keep your ciggarete at car...
n keep cool. plus take piss first before interview( bathroom ) |
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| Rock Thomas Viviano (Marquette Michigan) |
on 09 Sep 2008 at 11:02 am |
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| Make sure your cell phone is on and rings during the interview to show how \"important\" you are. |
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| r. ivey (chicago) |
on 05 Mar 2008 at 3:30 pm |
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| Even though your in their interview, in their office, at their invitation, try to take over the conversation as much as possable, this will show them that their organization has been lacking your important voice. |
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| Thomas (T.R.) Antley (Port St. Lucie Florida) |
on 10 Feb 2008 at 10:18 am |
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Don't do research on the company BEFORE the Interview.
Don't prepare for questions about strengths and weaknesses
Don't ask why the position is open now.
Don't ask what the company expectations are
Don't have a responsible list of questions ready when HR asks,"do you have any question about the job"
Leave the interview without asking," what's the next step" |
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| Bradley Snow (Lake Crystal Minnesota) |
on 14 Jan 2008 at 11:40 am |
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| say you know everything. |
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| Sky (Escanaba, Michigan) |
on 10 Jan 2008 at 11:34 pm |
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| Eat lunch right before the interview and smile during the interview. Having a positive attitude and smiling a lot is always a plus! |
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| samiam (Longmont Colorado) |
on 08 Jan 2008 at 1:09 pm |
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| Complain about your last employer. |
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